Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
