i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
