i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
