There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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