Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
