Nicole vs. Life
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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