isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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