is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
