Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I love having hate sex.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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