...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
