He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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