dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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