So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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