My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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