Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she peed on how many people?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
