Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
