If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
