Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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