Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
