it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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