so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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