She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize