I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
