I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have fence marks all over my body
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
