why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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