once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize