Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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