oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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