I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
