maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Success! We fucked roommates!
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