Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
