We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize