Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
