quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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