Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
