Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i think my cat just said my name.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
