you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your cock deserves a montage
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
