I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
