i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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