We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
