im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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