I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
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