I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
