puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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