I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ttyl tear gas
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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