Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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