trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize