I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
