everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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