i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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