She said her name was "party"
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
