take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
