My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
