I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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