i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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