bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
