He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
