I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
