My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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