And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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