I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
