don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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