My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
