Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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