i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
