He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
