she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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