I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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