hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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