I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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