THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
