its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
