mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Its about making memories worth repressing
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
