so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
