I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
