He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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