I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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