I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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