I wish my penis had an off switch
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
