Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
