We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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