Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
